Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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