you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
