eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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