He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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