I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
