there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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