He asked me if I "almost moaned"
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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