He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
