We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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