Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
