he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
