Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
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How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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