I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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