roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
