Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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