she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
