sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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