he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
