Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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