I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
