Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
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You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
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I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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