i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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