we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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