You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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