sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Do you still have your period?
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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