singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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