'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
