once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
