Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
