Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
