The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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