So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
