I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I believe in your delicious
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
