You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
