I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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