Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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