I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
