How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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