I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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