Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
