Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
