Whod you bang
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize