We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
