How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize