If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I wish there were birth control emojis
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
