the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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