I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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