I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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