she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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