Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
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peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize