How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
