Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
