We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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