I only kidnapped one of them. chill
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
