Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize