I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
