I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the barista slut.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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