She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
