I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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