Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
