Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
