We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
