Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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