Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
