I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize