i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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